Six Feet Under

Claire: I know stealing a foot is weird. But, hello, living in a house where a foot is available to be stolen is weird.
An Open Book

Claire: Well, isn't it comforting to know that being miserable is still better than being an idiot

Mr. Doyle : You've done a nice job. She looks so peaceful.
David: Well, she is at peace now.
Mr. Doyle : If there's any justice in the universe, she's shoveling shit in hell.
Pilot

Claire: Why are you still here anyway? Why don't you go back to Seattle?
Nate: Because I would miss the joyful sense of belonging I get here.
The Will

Claire: You know what I wish? I wish that just once people wouldn't act like the cliches that they are.
The Foot

Nathaniel, Sr.: Life is wasted on the living.
The Room

Ruth: Is this a school trip?
Claire: No, you go to the mountains and confront fear and get in touch with your most basic self. (pause) It looks good on your college application.
Brotherhood

Claire: You know, it's polite for the first person downstairs to make the coffee, even if that person has a penis!
Nate: Well you know, it's also polite for the first person who uses the bathroom to spend less than 45 minutes in there, even if that person has a vulva.
Ruth: (entering) Oh goodness, everyone's here.
David: With all their genitalia.
Out, out brief candle

Nate: I guess we've got a lot to be thankful for.
Nathaniel Sr: Either that, or we've lowered our expectations so much we've given up on anything better than this.
It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Claire: Okay, if you were a gay mortician, what would you want for Christmas?
Toby: Um, a new life?
It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Year