Did U know kissing is healthy
Bullshit. Do you *know* how many germs there are in the human mouth?!

Bananas are good for period pain
So are paracetomol. And those don't go off if you only use them once a month.

Its good to cry
Apart from for the skin, creation of general puffiness and unattractive snot and wailing.

Chicken soup actually makes you feel better
Depends how fresh it is. Can in fact make you feel a *whole* lot worse. Also if tinned has an unpleasant look of blamanche prior to cooking.

94% of boys would love it if you sent them flowers
Yup, knowing my luck they'd go "great I don't have to pay to send flowers to my girlfriend"

Lying is actually unhealthy
Yup, that nasty life threatening condition of lying is causing real problems for the NHS this year.

Only apply mascara to your top lashes
Applying it to the end of your nose will make you look silly.

Its actually true, boys DO insult u when they like you!
Yes, because boys are stupid.

Its impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed!
Especially when applying it to teeth in attempt to look like a pirate.

89% of guys want YOU to make the 1st move
Well obviously! The other 11% are so obnoxiously manly that you wouldn't want to go near them without some pepper spray to hand

Chocolate will make you feel better!
Depends on how much of it you eat really.

Most boys think its cute when you say the wrong thing.
'cos most "boys" don't want to go out with someone who may be more intelligent than they are.

A good friend never judges.
Pah! A good friend knows when to judge and how to deliver said judgement without causing too much distress.

A good foundation will hide hickeys!..not that u have any
Yup, 'cos if you have irritable dodgy skin adding more chemicals to it is a great plan.

Boys aren't worth your tears
What exactly is the exchange rate on tears? Tears don't tend to pay much attention to economic valuations in my experience.

We ALL love surprises!!
We all love *good* surprises! Surprises like a piano dropping on my head I can do without.

Now.... make a wish!
I wish that everyone on the planet had more self restraint and intelligence than to send on chain mails, especially ones that aren't actually funny.

WISH WISH WISH WISH
Congratulations!!
You have survived to the end of this mail without feeling the need to slaughter anyone. Well, ok, you felt the need, but didn't actually follow through.

Your wish has just been received
By what?! I want to know more details of who's listening inside my head!

Send this on to ALL your girlfriends in the next 15mins and...
But no boyfriends as this startling insight into the female psyche may be more than their poor little brains can handle?

Your wish WILL BE GRANTED.
That's a promise girlfriend
You go girl!