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The Second Circle of Hell - Valentines Day

Eternal dwelling place for those overcome by lust. Given the timing, it really had to be Valentines Day. It's not really a place as such, but I definitely think it should be marked with 'abandon hope' on the calendar.

Hearts and red stuff have been in the shops pretty much as soon as the January sales tat has gone. Most of it falls into two camps (and I use that word deliberately) the corny and the porny. The only safe ground really is red roses, except that everyone knows this and therefore the price quadruples! Walking home from the tube I saw a steady stream of women leaving the nearby office block carrying a variety of bouquets and balloons. Is it cynical of me to wonder how many sent them to themselves just to one-up the co-workers? Just me?

There are 3 ways the day can run

1) You have no one and you get nothing.
Just in case you'd actually come to accept the fact that it's February, cold, raining, Wednesday and that you're without any significant other. Here comes a bright shiny marketing ploy to rub it in. Thanks for that.

So you spend the day avoiding queries from happy people, return home dodging bunches of roses and helium balloons on the tube and spend the evening sitting in front of the TV with a tub of Ben and Jerry's and a Grey's Anatomy marathon. Just me?

2) You have no one and you get a 'surprise' valentine
This should be the perfect situation right? Nope. It's scary and creepy. The chances that it comes from someone you actually fancy are pretty slim. The chances that it comes from a slightly creepy verging-on-stalker who you've been hoping will take the hint for months, pretty solid. So you have a bunch of flowers that last for a week and remind you of the painful conversation you're going to have to have. Just me?

3) You actually have someone...
a) ...and they didn't get you anything
"I didn't think you believed in that kind of thing", "Isn't it better to save money for when prices aren't inflated?", "Wouldn't you rather have a gift just because, rather than 'cos the marketers say so?". Well.... yes... but would a box of Roses have killed you?
b)...and they did get you something
NOW you can complain that you don't believe in stupid Hallmark sponsored holiday AND you can eat chocolates while doing it! Result!

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